Worn Out

Often I find myself just plain ole worn out. We're busy with a newborn, a 3 year old (as of tomorrow), and 4 year old and a 6 year old - we're homeschooling - we're church-planting (which requires a great deal of service from my husband). Please know (at least at this moment) I am not complaining about all of the 'opportunities' for service in my life. But that hasn't been the case all along.

I have realized in the past few weeks that my heart and my attitude have not always been pleasing to God in this area.

Read what John Piper shared at the 1990 Bethlehem Baptist Conference for Pastors about the life of David Brainerd:

I think the reason Brainerd's life has such powerful effects on people is that in spite of all his struggles he never gave up his faith or his ministry. He was consumed with a passion to finish his race and honor his Master and spread the kingdom and advance in personal holiness. It was this unswerving allegiance to the cause of Christ that makes the bleakness of his life glow with glory so that we can understand Henry Martyn when he wrote, as a student in Cambridge in 1802, "I long to be like him (p. 4)!"

Brainerd called his passion for more holiness and more usefulness a kind of "pleasing pain." "When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more insatiable, and my thirstings after holiness the more unquenchable; ... Oh, for holiness! Oh, for more of God in my soul! Oh, this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press after God ... Oh, that I might not loiter on my heavenly journey (p. 186)!"

He was gripped with by the apostolic admonition: "Redeem the time for the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:16) He embodied the counsel: "Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due time we shall reap if we do not faint." (Gal. 6:9) He strove to be, as Paul says, "abounding in the work of the Lord (1 Cor. 15:58)." April 17, 1747.

"O I longed to fill the remaining moments all for God! Though my body was so feeble, and wearied with preaching and much private conversation, yet I wanted to sit up all night to do something for God. To God the giver of these refreshments, be glory forever and ever; Amen." (p. 246) February 21, 1746.

"My soul was refreshed and comforted, and I could not but bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be faithful in the day past. Oh, how sweet it is to be spent and worn out for God!" (p. 366)

My prayer right now is that these words would be the cry of my heart as well: "Oh, how sweet it is to be spent and worn out for God!"