Summer has been so much fun but so very busy. The craziness of being busy these past few months spilled over into my marriage. Although Brian and I were together a lot with the family, we weren't intentional with much of that time.
A few weeks ago, we started trying to take a few minutes each night (well, at least most nights) and chat together. We talk about what's going on that week and how to pray for each other. It has been so good - when we do it. Hopefully we will continue to be disciplined in this.
One of the other things we have been doing during some of these chats is talking about the questions listed here. Ideally, you discuss these over a date night, but our last date night was spent painting the kids bedrooms, so we are taking it just a few questions at a time. It's not that our marriage is bad but we know it can be better. It has been so encouraging to talk to one another about our marriage and how God can help us make it so much better - for His glory!
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, February 20, 2009
Marriage Based on Grace
"You cannot say too often that marriage is a model of Christ and the church ... this makes clear that marriage is based on grace. Christ pursues his bride by grace, obtains her for his own by grace, sustains her by grace, and will perfect her for himself by grace. We deserve none of this. We deserve judgment. It is all by grace." This Momentary Marriage by John Piper
This has so many implications in my own life and marriage. Even though I KNOW that marriage is a model of Christ and his church, I don't think about the truth of that often enough. I do not deserve the grace that God has given me. I am thankful for it but I often take if for granted. (I guess one could argue about the depth of that thankfulness if I do take it for granted - but that's probably another post). I usually find myself being slow to offer grace to my husband - and why - after all Christ has done for me? Well, because I don't usually choose to live in that same grace that has been extended to me. I pray that I continue to learn how to model God's grace in how I love and forgive others, especially my husband.
This has so many implications in my own life and marriage. Even though I KNOW that marriage is a model of Christ and his church, I don't think about the truth of that often enough. I do not deserve the grace that God has given me. I am thankful for it but I often take if for granted. (I guess one could argue about the depth of that thankfulness if I do take it for granted - but that's probably another post). I usually find myself being slow to offer grace to my husband - and why - after all Christ has done for me? Well, because I don't usually choose to live in that same grace that has been extended to me. I pray that I continue to learn how to model God's grace in how I love and forgive others, especially my husband.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
My Prayer for this Week...
I ordered Brian some John Piper books (yes there are a few we don't have) for his birthday back in January. One of them was his new book on marriage called "This Momentary Marriage." I was so excited this week when they finally came!
Yes, he wanted the marriage book but I was excited about reading it too. He began reading the biography on John Calvin while I stared on the marriage one. It is such a great read. I hope to write even more thoughts on it soon but for now I leave you with this:
"...in marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God's forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour - as an extension of God's forgiveness and justification and promised help."
Yes, he wanted the marriage book but I was excited about reading it too. He began reading the biography on John Calvin while I stared on the marriage one. It is such a great read. I hope to write even more thoughts on it soon but for now I leave you with this:
"...in marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God's forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour - as an extension of God's forgiveness and justification and promised help."
Monday, March 24, 2008
Weekend Getaway - Part 2
Well, I had better finish this post before I forget everything from the weekend. One of the things I really enjoyed was the ride to and from Harrisonburg. We listened to several podcasts of Mark Driscoll, John Piper, and C.J. Mahaney - mostly from the recent Resurgance Conference in February. It was refreshing to hear such passionate preaching and then be able to discuss it together as a couple.
Once we arrived in Harrisonburg on Friday, we checked in at our B&B. Brian then had the bright idea of us walking the few (LONG) blocks to the JMU campus. (Hello? Remember we just ran 6 miles earlier in the day?) But the weather was sunny and beautiful so I obliged and we headed of to campus. It was nice to walk around, well really not 'around' - more like 'up' and 'down' - that campus is very hilly. During our mountainous trek, we shared memories together and I asked all kinds of questions about his college days. But after a while, I started getting tired, because, remember, we ran 6 miles earlier in the day!
So then we headed to Outback for supper! Yummo! It was nice to sit down together to a meal that I didn't have to cook or clean up! We definitely ate some good food while we were gone, while sharing some good conversation at the same time. But the best story comes after dinner on Friday...
Ten years ago we drove up to Reddish Knob, the highest summit in Northern Virginia. It has a 360 degree view where you can see into West Virginia. If you are there during the sunset, you can see day and night at the same time. We wanted to make sure that we went to Reddish Knob during our visit... and we did!
Come back tomorrow and you can hear all about it!
Once we arrived in Harrisonburg on Friday, we checked in at our B&B. Brian then had the bright idea of us walking the few (LONG) blocks to the JMU campus. (Hello? Remember we just ran 6 miles earlier in the day?) But the weather was sunny and beautiful so I obliged and we headed of to campus. It was nice to walk around, well really not 'around' - more like 'up' and 'down' - that campus is very hilly. During our mountainous trek, we shared memories together and I asked all kinds of questions about his college days. But after a while, I started getting tired, because, remember, we ran 6 miles earlier in the day!
So then we headed to Outback for supper! Yummo! It was nice to sit down together to a meal that I didn't have to cook or clean up! We definitely ate some good food while we were gone, while sharing some good conversation at the same time. But the best story comes after dinner on Friday...
Ten years ago we drove up to Reddish Knob, the highest summit in Northern Virginia. It has a 360 degree view where you can see into West Virginia. If you are there during the sunset, you can see day and night at the same time. We wanted to make sure that we went to Reddish Knob during our visit... and we did!
Come back tomorrow and you can hear all about it!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Weekend Getaway - Part 1
This past weekend Brian and I had the opportunity to sneak away for a couple of days to celebrate our 10-year anniversary (which was in December but that time of year was too busy to get away). I guess 'sneak' isn't the right word because it did take a bit of planning and coordinating schedules ... But we were able to get away from the stress and busyness of work and church responsibilities for a couple of days ... and it was pure bliss.
Brian's parents, PawPaw and Granny, graciously offered to keep the kids for us - all 4 of them! I don't know who was more excited, the kids or the grandparents. The kids have spent the night over there several times but we've been in town those nights so this was the first time we were actually going out of town alone since we had Coleman 7 years ago.
Our weekend began on Thursday evening when we took the kids over to PawPaw and Granny's house and helped get them get bathed and ready for bed. Then we went home to our house ... alone. Sad to say that we did some 'work' then. We did take some time out to watch LOST but then Brian finished preparations for his Sunday teaching and I caught up on laundry. I knew that we would need to actually go out of town to truly get a break because if we are home, we are tempted to work on something, like that neverending laundry basket.
Friday morning we slept in a little, until about 8:00 a.m. (So sad to me that I consider 8:00 sleeping in ... when we were first married we could sleep in on Saturdays until 10 or 11 ... often times the phone would ring and we would try our hardest to not sound like we were asleep ... people would always ask 'Did I wake you?' and we'd say 'No, of course not, we just sound like this in the morning ... ). Sp after we slept in until 8ish, we went on a 6-mile run together in preparation for the 10-K in a couple of weeks. It was fun to run together, although Brian had to run at a slower pace because I wanted to pace myself to make sure I could make it the entire 6 miles. I was nervous about adding that extra mile but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I actually felt pretty decent afterwards.
Then we showered and got packed up for our overnight. We headed out and stopped to eat lunch at Chipotle for the first time. All of you out there who have eaten there and haven't told me about it yet - well, Shame On You! It was very yummy and I can't believe that we've been missing out! If you've never been there, it's basically a Rich Person's version of Taco Bell and I am telling you now that you Need To Go! We both enjoyed the burritos and will definitely dine there again. Huge fans!
After a delightful lunch, we headed off to Harrisonburg, VA to spend the night at the Joshua Wilton House. Harrisonburg is the home of JMU, which is where Brian went to school. I visited him there pretty often the fall before we got married and we haven't been back to visit since we got married 10 years ago. We were looking forward to see how the school had changed and reminiscing about old times.
To be continued...
Brian on the JMU Quad
Brian's parents, PawPaw and Granny, graciously offered to keep the kids for us - all 4 of them! I don't know who was more excited, the kids or the grandparents. The kids have spent the night over there several times but we've been in town those nights so this was the first time we were actually going out of town alone since we had Coleman 7 years ago.
Our weekend began on Thursday evening when we took the kids over to PawPaw and Granny's house and helped get them get bathed and ready for bed. Then we went home to our house ... alone. Sad to say that we did some 'work' then. We did take some time out to watch LOST but then Brian finished preparations for his Sunday teaching and I caught up on laundry. I knew that we would need to actually go out of town to truly get a break because if we are home, we are tempted to work on something, like that neverending laundry basket.
Friday morning we slept in a little, until about 8:00 a.m. (So sad to me that I consider 8:00 sleeping in ... when we were first married we could sleep in on Saturdays until 10 or 11 ... often times the phone would ring and we would try our hardest to not sound like we were asleep ... people would always ask 'Did I wake you?' and we'd say 'No, of course not, we just sound like this in the morning ... ). Sp after we slept in until 8ish, we went on a 6-mile run together in preparation for the 10-K in a couple of weeks. It was fun to run together, although Brian had to run at a slower pace because I wanted to pace myself to make sure I could make it the entire 6 miles. I was nervous about adding that extra mile but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I actually felt pretty decent afterwards.
Then we showered and got packed up for our overnight. We headed out and stopped to eat lunch at Chipotle for the first time. All of you out there who have eaten there and haven't told me about it yet - well, Shame On You! It was very yummy and I can't believe that we've been missing out! If you've never been there, it's basically a Rich Person's version of Taco Bell and I am telling you now that you Need To Go! We both enjoyed the burritos and will definitely dine there again. Huge fans!
After a delightful lunch, we headed off to Harrisonburg, VA to spend the night at the Joshua Wilton House. Harrisonburg is the home of JMU, which is where Brian went to school. I visited him there pretty often the fall before we got married and we haven't been back to visit since we got married 10 years ago. We were looking forward to see how the school had changed and reminiscing about old times.
To be continued...
Brian on the JMU Quad
Monday, October 29, 2007
How to Unveil and Apply Grace to my Spouse's Soul
I often find that life is just busy ... busy feeding people, washing clothes, teaching lessons, feeding more people, washing more clothes, etc. I have a desire to live intentionally but sometimes it feels like I am "just getting by."
When I am just 'getting by', one of the first things I neglect is my relationship with Brian. I have a special husband but I don't always intenionally nurture that relationship. The Family Room has a great article today about how to unveil and apply grace to my spouse's soul. Go read it.
Here are some questions (from the 'Family Room' article) to think about with your spouse. (The questions written were directed towards the husband, but many apply to the wife as well). My prayer is that these questions will be stepping stones which will cause us to intentionally share the grace of Christ with one another.
"What circumstances are challenging or troubling you right now?
What decisions that need to be made are most weighing on you?
How are you currently experiencing temptation? This week? In this season?
Are you more aware of your sin or how Christ is at work in you?
In what ways do you most need my leadership?
Where do you need me to provide more spiritual direction/nurture?
What passage of scripture would you like us to meditate on together? As a family?
How can I help you set priorities?
In what area do we need to be more unified?
Do you know where I most need your help/input?"
Oh yeah - by the way, baby girl is already 6 months old...
When I am just 'getting by', one of the first things I neglect is my relationship with Brian. I have a special husband but I don't always intenionally nurture that relationship. The Family Room has a great article today about how to unveil and apply grace to my spouse's soul. Go read it.
Here are some questions (from the 'Family Room' article) to think about with your spouse. (The questions written were directed towards the husband, but many apply to the wife as well). My prayer is that these questions will be stepping stones which will cause us to intentionally share the grace of Christ with one another.
"What circumstances are challenging or troubling you right now?
What decisions that need to be made are most weighing on you?
How are you currently experiencing temptation? This week? In this season?
Are you more aware of your sin or how Christ is at work in you?
In what ways do you most need my leadership?
Where do you need me to provide more spiritual direction/nurture?
What passage of scripture would you like us to meditate on together? As a family?
How can I help you set priorities?
In what area do we need to be more unified?
Do you know where I most need your help/input?"
Oh yeah - by the way, baby girl is already 6 months old...
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The Integrity of Marriage
Today I found a link from The Family Room to an Al Mohler article entitled “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage.” In a day where pornographic images are rampant (even when you’re just walking through the mall and pass a Victoria’s Secret store), we as the Body of Christ must stand differently than the world in which we live. Pornography can easily invade homes and marriages leaving lasting damage. We must be aware and do what we can to protect our families (like filters for our computers and spiritual accountability). This article is a great resource for a husband and wife to read and study together. Here is an excerpt:
“The deliberate use of pornography is nothing less than the willful invitation of illicit lovers and objectified sex objects and forbidden knowledge into a man’s heart, mind, and soul. The damage to the man’s heart is beyond measure, and the cost in human misery will only be made clear on the Day of Judgment. From the moment a boy reaches puberty until the day he is lowered into the ground, every man will struggle with lust. Let us follow the biblical example and scriptural command that we make a covenant with our eyes lest we sin.”
There are several resources for purity in the Christian life at Josh Harris' blog.
“The deliberate use of pornography is nothing less than the willful invitation of illicit lovers and objectified sex objects and forbidden knowledge into a man’s heart, mind, and soul. The damage to the man’s heart is beyond measure, and the cost in human misery will only be made clear on the Day of Judgment. From the moment a boy reaches puberty until the day he is lowered into the ground, every man will struggle with lust. Let us follow the biblical example and scriptural command that we make a covenant with our eyes lest we sin.”
There are several resources for purity in the Christian life at Josh Harris' blog.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
For Valentine's Day...
Marriage. I am so thankful to be a part of a godly marriage that is full of grace. Perfect? No. Grace-filled? Yes. I love this sermon by John Piper called "Marriage: God's Showcase of Covenant-Keeping Grace." The sermon centers around the fact that “marriage exists most ultimately to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church … this covenant is designed to showcase the covenant-keeping grace of God.”
Listen to or read this sermon today as you prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I am so grateful for my husband who loves me and who extends grace to me on a daily basis. May we continue to grow in God’s grace together.
Listen to or read this sermon today as you prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I am so grateful for my husband who loves me and who extends grace to me on a daily basis. May we continue to grow in God’s grace together.
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